Michael Freeman is a dramatist and poet. His work-in-progress is a semi-memoir on the subject of suicidal ideation. He will be performing, ‘Butterfly Strokes: a Choreopoem’ at venues throughout the city as part of the 2021 CAC NYFA grant. He has a BA degree in cultural studies (Writing/Theater) from SUNY Empire State College and is the recipient of the prestigious SUNY Richard Porter Leach fellowship. He has also received grant funding from the Dramatists Guild of America; PEN and New Dance Alliance.
Queer Boys Will Die
Mine is the body that creates future calamities that I’ve now avoided Strong men raise their arms Some shake their fists Others carry guns solders with thin arms that wobble but their aim is exact They know what they hate. Men with a feminine pallor Men with a gentle smile Men who captivate in the most discreet sense As I am watching this scenario soldiers raise their guns from the ground floor and shoot up at me my wings come apart and I fall faster than expected they are breaking apart as I continue to suppress a dry cough (I think) why do I care about coughing anymore? And I fall as one butterfly through a broken mass of migrating butterflies rejected and thrown back declaring singular status and a light-seeker a moth a moth in stereo attracted to those things that soldiers disdain disco freedom they catch me and carry me forward duration eternal and knowing that is escape of being here innate wisdom grows butterflying buckling through blinding wind the future voices that I hear are the sounds of suffering I’m hearing the knocks restless knocks of the ordained they recaptured their efforts. They will never cease. they are captivated by echoes. they do not realize that I am here that I am listening to every single one. Dropping further As a baby I weave the cord around my visage As a cloak I hide again Fluid takes me over and I wet myself Am I to be reborn from this baptism? Will I become them or will I still have protection from normality? The extreme bullies Their bull heads A gang of minotaur’s meeting me in every corner of the labyrinth I’m too tender to instruct so they will destroy me They have told me that they would remove my penis so that I could not use it on a man Now I have a return in mind without threats Conquering fear is the important part of this journey I tell them that I won’t get in their way I will cross the street But then they see me They take me into the closet and lock me in When I come out, I will be reborn to them, which means I will have to become a lair